1. Social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. People who are more socially connected to family, to friends and to community are happier, physically healthier and live longer. But you know that one can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage.
2. It is not just the number of friends we have, or whether or not we are in a committed relationship, but it’s the quality of our close relationships that matters. High conflict marriages for example without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health.
3. Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies. They protect our brains. Those in relationships that they really feel like they can count on the other person in times of need, those people’s memories stay sharper, longer.
When we think of well-being, we often think of self care, but Bob’s study shows that focusing only on ourselves is a recipe, not only for misery, but for physical health problems as well.
But there is a caveat.
If your situation is very bad, if you live in poverty or if you’re in an abusive relationship, or if you live in a war zone for example, then of course that’s going to make a huge difference to your well-being.
If your circumstances are truly awful, then fixing or changing them really will improve your well-being. But I’m guessing the circumstances of the average listener of this program aren’t all that bad. And that means that changing your circumstances won’t help in the way you think.
